With such strong supporting evidence, the quotation takes on a life of its own. Your reader will find himself thinking, "Why would anyone do that? Rather than using a traditional thesis statement you can put forth a societal observation that ties into the theme of your essay. This can be very effective if the statement is unique and gives a glimpse into how you view the world. It can be detrimental if your statement is debatable or unclear.
Make sure that if you use this form of introduction that no admissions office will take offense to it. High school is a strange time. After three years of trying to develop an identity and friends in middle school, students are expected to mature immediately on the first day of ninth grade. Be careful not to make statements in your introduction that seem too exaggerated or unrealistic. After all, no one expects a student to immediately mature on the first day of ninth grade.
Moreover, if your reader senses that you attained most of your maturity at the beginning of high school, he or she might be less than impressed with your character development. It would be better to state, "students are expected to enter a new environment in which they must function with far greater maturity. To this day, the United States remains driven by the American Dream, and we often hear of immigrants who come to this country to search for opportunities that their native countries lack.
In these tales, immigrants succeed through hard work, dedication, and a little luck. As idealistic as the story may seem, I have been fortunate enough to experience its reality in the life of one very important man. His example has had great impact on my personal expectations and goals, and the manner in which I approach my own life.
This is an excellent way to introduce a discussion of a person who has influenced you significantly. It also places the most importance on the American Dream, as is fitting in an essay like this one. Because art is very personal, it has no right or wrong. The type of art that has influenced me most is music. The first two sentences in this introduction set the kind of tone you want to maintain throughout your essay: However, it moves on to a very boring and stilted structure in the third sentence.
To keep the tone creative, you could replace that sentence with the following: The Personal Introduction takes the reader directly into your mind.
It says, "This is what it is like to be me. Let me take you to my little world. It is always in the first person and usually takes an informal, conversational tone:. At times, I think the world around me is crumbling to the ground, but it never does. Like most people, I face the crunches of deadlines and endless demands on my time, but I have never encountered the type of adversity that can crush people, that can drive people crazy, that can drive them to suicide.
This introduction is indeed compelling, but it raises important questions about appropriate content. Be careful to avoid writing a personal essay that is far too personal. You do not want your reader to think that you might have character weaknesses that prevent you from handling stressful situations well.
I chuckle to myself every time I think about this. I am perceived as a mild-mannered, intelligent individual until I mention that I am involved in riflery. Did the first sentence of this introduction confuse you? This was no doubt its intention. Many admissions essays begin with a question. While this is an easy way to begin an essay, admissions officers may perceive it as a "lazy introduction. Why is it that the people who influence us most influence us in ways that are not easily quantified?
Through her work with abused children, my mother has shown me the heroism of selfless dedication to a worthy cause. With one word, this introduction takes an essay question about the person who has most influenced you and turns it back around to the admissions board. In effect, you are telling them that you have thought about their question thoroughly. You have thought about it for so long that you have a couple of questions of your own - questions that have sparked an interesting commentary.
Many writers are tempted to start their essay with a quote. You should try to resist this temptation, as most quotes will look forced. Admissions officers will be turned off if it is apparent that you searched through a book of famous quotes and came up with a quote from some famous philosopher about whom you know nothing. At first, it seems quite easy.
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With the help of the University of Michigan, I will be successful after college and be able to make a name and place for myself in our society. The Introduction The introduction seems to have a lack of focus: Where's the writer going with this paragraph? Where's the writer going with this essay? Sample College Application Essay 1 .
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Crafting an Unforgettable College Essay Most selective colleges require you to submit an essay or personal statement as part of your application. It may sound like a chore, and it will certainly take a substantial amount of work. All you need to enjoy our qualified personal statement help is to how to write an application letter for kitchen assistant make Your winning personal statement for college is only Personal Statement; Application essay;.